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With the first games of the season little more than a week away, it's time for IRISH MIKE'S first annual predictions and wishful thoughts.  We all know what predictions are, and, in general, what they are worth.  Wishful thoughts are more along the lines of the way I'd like the world to be.  So here's a top 10 of each:

PREDICTIONS

1.  Tim Tebow will win the Heisman Trophy (awarded annually and continuously by ESPN from August through December), the Nobel Peace Prize and the Jean Hersholt Award (look it up).

2.  Texas will win the BCS Championship, and Colt McCoy will be sworn in as Texas Governor-for-life immediately after the game.

3.  Ohio State will win the Big 10/Hidden 11, and will win a BCS Bowl, not to mention an NCAA basketball championship if Terrell Pryor decides he wants one of those, too.

4.  Notre Dame will beat Boston College (I make this prediction every year -- one of these times it's going to be right!).

5.  Lane Kiffin's wife will attack Urban Meyer's wife in an SEC hair-pull to remember  (this one doubles as a wishful thought).

6.  Stanford will win the PAC-10 (due to new rule adding average SAT score to actual points scored in game).  Under this new rule, Stanford will win the next 95 PAC-10 titles, until USC figures out how to buy scholars.

7.  Florida's Supreme Court will restore Bobby Bowden's 14 lost victories.  Pennsylvania's Supreme Court will overrule Florida's Supreme Court on basis of earlier statehood.

8.  Pitt will have a sellout for the Notre Dame game due to 40,000 Pitt fans disguised as leprechauns.

9. After a 2-3 start at Michigan, Rich Rodriguez's agent will put out feelers to West Virginia about coming back home.  Rich Rodriguez's agent will then die in a mysterious couch fire accident in Morgantown.

10.  Oklahoma State's Mike Gundy will proclaim "I'm a man! I'm 42!" after beatiings by Georgia, Texas and Oklahoma.  OSU fans will demand a DNA test if Gundy also loses to Colorado or Texas Tech.


WISHFUL THOUGHTS

1.  Reggie Bush will come clean about a) cheating on Kim Kardashian; b) accepting free condos and automobiles from USC representatives during his college career; c) illegally pushing Matt Leinart into the end zone against Notre Dame in 2005; and
d) killing Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.

2.  Joe Paterno will decide to coach Penn State from his home in 2010 and from the nursing home in 2011 (resisting easy funeral home punchline).

3.  Lee Corso's head will become stuck in the Gator Head, and he will be poached and served grilled on a stick at LSU the next weekend.

4.  Steve Spurrier will reveal that he mistakenly voted for himself as "Greatest Gator QB of all time" and will seek permission to change his vote to Danny Wuerfful.

5.  Urban Meyer will reveal that he mistakenly voted for himself as "Greatest Notre Dame Coach of all time" and will seek permission to change his vote to Bob Davie.

6.  On the eve of the natiuonal championship game against Texas, Nick Saban will announce that he has "no intention of becoming the next head coach of the Washington Redskins, no, really, I mean it ..."  before silently mouthing the words "Dan Snyder, call me..."

7.  After going undefeated, Harvard will demand a spot in a BCS bowl, where it will trounce Utah.

8.  Rutgers will respond to  a late season loss to South Florida by sending alumnus and fan James Gandolfini to "pay a little visit" to USF Coach Jim Leavitt, who will then hold a press conference self-reporting an ineligible player and forfeiting to Rutgers.

9.  "Doctor Lou" will perform actual surgery on Mark May on the Lifetime Channel -- without anesthesia.

10.  After winning a BCS bowl game, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish will carry Charlie Weis off the field on their shoulders, thus attesting to the tremendous strides made in their strength and conditioning program.